I got a memo today

Today, my supervisor left a memo on my desk. Here it is, in its entirety:

"To all participants of the JET Programme,

Every year during a weekend at the end of October, a large number of costume-wearing foreigners take over several cars on the Osaka Loop Line and hold a Halloween party. The party attendees engage in a number of activities that disturb other passengers, including drinking alcohol inside the train cars, attacking others, damaging the cars, and leaving a large amount of garbage throughout the train. In addition, every time the train stops at a station the attendees all yell and run out onto the platform, then run into a different car to ride again, causing delays not only on the loop line, but also on other lines that are connected to the loop line. As a result of this party, a large number of complaints are filed with JR West and the police every year. Unfortunately, we have also been informed that some JET Programme participants attend this party.

This year, the Osaka Prefectural Police Department is planning to place a number of police officers at the stations and inside the cars of the Osaka Loop Line and arrest people on the spot if they observe any illegal activity. We strongly request that none of the members of the JET Programme participate in this party, as it causes a great amount of trouble for others.

In addition, participants caught engaging in any of the following conduct will be arrested on the spot by the Osaka Prefectural Police.

Causing the train to be delayed (Forcible Obstruction of Business)
Ripping the advertisements in the train (Destruction of Property)
Spitting in the train (Destruction of Property)
Vomiting in the train (Destruction of Property)
Standing on the seats without removing ones shoes (Destruction of Property)
Attacking others (Assault and Battery)"

I added the bold for emphasis. The implication here is that it's perfectly acceptable to stand on train seats, just so long as you remember to remove your shoes beforehand!

The memo also conveniently omits mention of the fact that many Japanese people participate in this activity as well - not just foreigners. I guess perhaps the innocent Japanese were manipulated into fiendish behavior by the wide-eyed gaijin devils and are therefore absolved of their responsibility. *Sigh* When you're a minority, you stick out, and so people are a lot more likely to notice when you slip up and do something stupid and will naturally apply it to the entire group of which you are just a representative sample. Every time I fumble with my chopsticks, or fail to produce adequate Japanese, or fall off my bike (don't ask), I inwardly cringe, because I know that every Japanese person watching is thinking to themselves "I knew it! Typical foreigner!" It goes way beyond the typical embarrassment of being caught in an awkward situation - now your entire race/gender/nationality/etc is on the line! You have to maintain dignity for the sake of foreigners everywhere! It's a lot of pressure to deal with, let me tell you.